I Mourn the Manic Pixie

An Autopsy of the Manic Pixie Dream Girl, Part 3/3

This is the conclusion to my three part series on the Manic Pixie Dream Girl. It largely serves as an Epilogue, so you really should start with the following, if you have not already read them:

Part One

Part Two

Intro: My Story

Throughout film history, but concentrated specifically in the 00s, there was a rebellious streak of films that asserted that men did not need to be traditionally masculine, and that women could be desirable, even feminine, while having strong personalities and emphasizing their own dreams, desires, and passions.

Due to the otherwise widespread misogyny of the era, this was met with predictable hate.

These characters were called Manic Pixie Dream Girls, by film critic Nathan Rabin. He, in his review of the admittedly quite bad Elizabethtown, identified and showed scorn toward this type of character that he would later regret and apologize for. But after the initial wave of disdain, brought on by a man, there was a second brought on largely by women. In the backlash to the misogyny of the 00s, every single storytelling trope that involved a female character was called into question. The Manic Pixie Dream Girl, then, became unfairly positioned between Women in Refrigerators and the Madonna-Whore complex. Some female creators objected to this, but their voices were drowned out. The MPDG, like all tropes involving women up to this point, must be seen as harmful. To justify this, these characters were given imaginary qualities that didn’t hold up to in depth readings of the films they featured in: All of them were shallow, they were unrealistic, they supported the protagonist while giving nothing back. In reality, these qualities were mostly found in MPDG films that happened to be badly written. (Like, of course, Elizabethtown.) And assigning these qualities to complex characters and the talented actresses who performed them was actually hateful to women in a way that the existence of the MPDG had never been in the first place. But the hate train had no brakes, and refused to stop running.

There are multiple possibilities for the source of this hate, especially once it was being espoused by the very people who believed they were fighting misogyny: Was it hate for the soft, effeminate men who occupied these films? Was it hatred based on an idea that any idealized woman in art is a threat to every woman? Or was it actually just envy? I couldn’t give one solid answer because I think it’s all true, in addition to the genuine misogyny that inspired the initial contempt. People come to hatred all for their own reasons. But the hatred, itself, has impact.

The Manic Pixie Dream Girl died. And with it, largely, the romantic movie for men died. (Though in all fairness, it was born on life support.) I doubt, often, that most men even know how to indulge in romantic fantasies. That they place themselves in desirable ideations that involve love, instead of just sex. If that’s not socially constructed, if that is just the way that men are, then the world is a dark and unfixable place.

If it is socially constructed, though, then in shaming the Manic Pixie Dream Girl to death, we restored and maintained the status quo. We taught young men, again, which desires were acceptable, and which ones they should never indulge in.

Part One: Context I Can’t Ignore

In 2026, the Manic Pixie Dream Girl is dead, and in the US, we have lost nationwide legal abortion for women.

In 2026, the Manic Pixie Dream Girl is dead, and the US president shared a post about how white women are the most “damaging people on Earth” not too long after telling a female reporter “Quiet, Piggy.”

In 2026, the Manic Pixie Dream Girl is dead, and multiple Supreme Court justices have been accused of sexual assault. It did not prevent their ascension to the court, or prevent them from voting, as mentioned above, on overturning legal abortion for women nationwide.

In 2026, the Manic Pixie Dream Girl is dead, and so is a poet from Minnesota who was the mother to a six year old.

I do not say these things out of the belief that, if we still had the MPDG, we would live in some kind of sexually egalitarian utopia. I say them because, even if the MPDG is some kind of misogynistic trope in ways that I am not fairly acknowledging, and her death is some victory for feminism, taking stock of the cultural battles that we have ‘won’ versus the cultural battles that we have ‘lost’ reveals a profound misalignment in priorities. What the fuck have we been doing?

In particular, as I was writing this, I became stuck on the meager, pathetic releases of the Epstein files, most being illegally withheld, with the President’s name blatantly censored on the few documents that have been released. I think about the real women desperately craving justice for unforgivable crimes. I think about how Epstein, Trump, and their cohort were indulging in what, to them, was the ideal male fantasy.

It was not something that I wanted to think about, as I watched these largely wholesome and beautiful films about love. But it was what everyone around me was talking about, even as it wasn’t getting enough play in the news. And so it became another flavor tinging my thoughts, always, as I watched these movies and thought about the disdain they’d attracted from so many people who agree with me about social issues in so many ways.

When I escape, to the imagining of a world in which men do not behave like this, I am forced to imagine a world in which men fantasize (because to fantasize is human) but it is not about the domination of women. It is instead about love, about mutual relationships based on shared affection, about feeling supported, and being supportive.

I found it, in these movies that are now so controversial, so hated in retrospect. And that, above all else, is why I mourn the Manic Pixie Dream Girl.

Part Two: Without Judgment

I wanted to transition from that topic to hope, and make that transition smoothly. But I don’t think I can, and perhaps it was unfair to think that I could.

I’ll just put it this way: I have more to say, and I want to say it. Nothing that I have to say makes anything in the previous section better, or even remotely okay.

Can we just move on, accepting that?

If you’ll allow that, I really want to talk about a series that I referenced in passing in the previous post. I want to talk about “My Dress-Up Darling.”

The Manic Pixie of the 2020s

Looked at through the lens of every other movie and book I watched for this challenge, it is indisputable that “Dress-Up Darling” is a MPDG story. It is about Wakana Gojo, a socially anxious boy with low self-esteem, insecure in his masculinity because of the way in which he has been mocked for decorating and dressing traditional Japanese “Hina Dolls.” He is then recruited by the Marin Kitagawa, (pictured above) the prettiest, most popular girl in his school, in order to help her create cosplay.

Here’s something to keep in mind: Japan has an entirely different cultural milleu from those of us living in the West. In the context of Japanese culture, the above character is a gyaru girl. “Gyaru” is a counterculture against traditional Japanese gender roles and beauty standards. Melded into it is the idea of being cheerful and sociable, as opposed to traditional Japanese values that esteem women who are quiet and reserved.

Which means that, if you know what you’re looking at: Buried deep within Dress-Up Darling is a rejection of the stifling nature of traditional gender roles, and instead a loud assertion that people should be who they are and love what they love. Just as Gojo is passionate about painting Hina dolls, Marin is passionate about erotic porn games targeting men. Is that passion just another extension of Dress-Up Darling’s fantasy? Maybe. On face value: this is a story of wish fulfillment for male readers. There’s no use in criticizing it, it simply is what it is.

But what’s noteworthy about Dress-Up Darling is that my wife, as mentioned in the previous post, is not the only woman who loves it. If you have some time, here is a thirty minute video of female fans gushing about Dress-Up Darling.

This is despite the fact that, unlike any of the relatively tame movies that I talked about before this, Dress-Up Darling aggressively sexualizes its female lead. Every once in a while, my wife will laugh at something in it, then show me what is essentially a pinup featuring Marin.

“I’ve gotta admit,” she says, as she goes back to reading it. “It’d be fun to draw things like that.”

If you aren’t part of anime/manga subculture, some of this might sound strange to you, but an even deeper context for this is that many anime fans accept, going in, that the content is unabashedly and unashamedly fanservice. Here, it favors young men. But series like Fruits Basket, Ouran High School Host Club, and Death Note cater to the female gaze. Heterosexual women who enjoy Dress-Up Darling know that, if they glance two books over in the manga section that keeps Barnes and Noble alive, they’ll find an androgynous yet compellingly attractive man who will be kissing a female (or male) protagonist in just as graphic detail as they desire. Given that a different manga will cater to all of their desires, who are they to complain?

And one of the desires it indulges is the fantasy of the MPDG. In another name, but still the same idea: You, as a man, will meet a cheerful, eccentric girl who will light up your life and help you overcome your flaws.

I ask again: Is it really so harmful?

Part Three: Women of All Shapes and Sizes

I implied above that I wouldn’t take the form of ‘progress’ we’ve made in society within my lifetime, if I could help it, and I wouldn’t. I wouldn’t choose to have progressive art in a world that is falling further into fascism every day. But I suppose, like it or not, progressive art is what we have.

The Manic Pixie Dream Girl is dead, yes, but characterization of women in media has never been in a better place. From Kpop Demon Hunters to the slow march of women into Superherodom to a strong presence in award-winning video games. (Hades 2, Clair Obscur, Silksong, and more.) It’d be wrong to cry foul about female representation, right now. (I’m going to say it again, really hammer this shit in: We should be more worried about women in the real world.)

I think that’s what makes it easy to look back on this, and condemn the way this character was shamed. At the time, it seemed, every woman onscreen was designed for the consumption of men. It came in different flavors, but it was all essentially the same. It’s only now, looking back at what we’ve lost, that it becomes clear what was truly ‘sexist’ and what was just ‘a movie for a certain type of guy.’

So I get it. Bitter as I am. I do.

Having said that the real world is more important, I’ll be clear that I mean it in multiple ways. In real life: I can only be happy that I found someone, and that I am content in the love that we give each other. That no one can look behind our closed doors, and try to claim that we misrepresent our gender, or behave as we shouldn’t. There are certain freedoms that reality allows you.

And maybe someday, when everyone finally stops hating this, we’ll feel a sort of nostalgia for the Dream Girl again. We’ll look back on these movies and see the actual beauty in them. Maybe someday when the world is no longer going to hell and I’m not here putting an asterisk on everything I type, thinking: “Well that isn’t the important thing. It can’t be. The oncoming fascism is the important thing.”

Maybe all of this is just nostalgia for the era I grew up in. But I’m unafraid to admit that I love these movies, and I’m unafraid to admit that the watching of them allowed me to enter a different, more romantic world, in this insane and terrifying time. And for that reason alone, they have value.

For this reason among so many others, I mourn the Manic Pixie Dream Girl.

---

Thank you everyone for your subscriptions, which encouraged me to do this.

Next week, I’ll be presenting a piece on various MPDG errata for paid subscribers only. It will be revealing the results of all my research, in-depth, including the google sheet that I used to keep track of all of it, and random dumb little overlaps I kept noticing. For example: It was surprisingly common for the movies to trivialize theft, or for them to feature magical realism/heightened reality. How common? I kept track, and now have the exact number, like a weirdo. I also have detailed thoughts on some of these movies which veer far off the main MPDG thesis, such as ‘I love Alice B. Toklas,’ which is a fascinatingly messy depiction of 1960s counterculture.

Until then, thank you for all your support. Please like and share this, at the very least, stay safe, and do not comply in advance.